


what makes you think i'm so special

by Fluoradine



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Dancing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Gem War, Hurt/Comfort, no one else was gonna write rosemuth so i gotta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 16:59:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9195008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fluoradine/pseuds/Fluoradine
Summary: Short Rosemuth fic, in which Rose has doubts, and Bismuth wants to make her feel better.





	

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to rarepair hell population: me + you

Another day, another battle. That was the reality of rebellion. The Crystal Gems had found refuge in a cave for the night, all eleven of them sitting nervously in the dark. Onyx and Rhodonite were the first to watch guard outside for any of Homeworld's troops passing them by. The rest tried to rest their minds and forms after a long day of travel. They'd realized yesterday that a group of Quartz soldiers knew where their base was, and had to abandon it as quickly as they could, taking only what they could fit inside their gems and hands. This didn't turn out to be a lot, unfortunately. Many maps they'd spent months working on had been left behind, not to mention light cannons and larger weapons. But, as Rose Quartz reminded the sulking rebels, they were alive, and that was the best they could ask for. They had to agree with her; it was better than the days where someone would be receded into their gem to reform, or worse, when someone didn't come back from a battle at all.  
  
Bismuth was lining swords up against the cavern wall, making sure they weren't short too many. The trek hadn't been as hard on her as it had been on the others; she was used to backbreaking work that she didn't always enjoy. It had been her duty before she joined the rebellion. Just a year ago, she'd been building a temple on Facet 5 with her team of other Bismuths and Peridots. That was where she'd first come face-to-face with the Gem rebels, of whom she'd only heard her superiors whisper about in hushed tones.  
  
She'd been expecting a much more terrifying force after what she'd heard, in honesty. All the talk of a rogue Quartz soldier with a bloodthirsty devoted Pearl by her side had made Bismuth wary of what might happen if they attacked her site. The Crystal Gems had unknowingly set up camp right behind the temple site, and Bismuth had stumbled into it while looking for a way back to the ship. The next thing she knew, there was a sword in front of her face, and she was staring up at the face of a white Pearl who looked extremely angry. "How did you find us? Were you sent here by a superior?" the Pearl demanded to know. Bismuth tried to answer, but her nerves were making her stumble and she couldn't even form a sentence. That was when she first saw Rose Quartz, terrifying leader of the gem rebellion, just inches away from her.  
  
Bismuth had seen Rose Quartz Gems before, but she had never seen anything like the Rose Quartz hovering in front of her that day. She was stunned, and couldn't do anything but stare. There was no way to describe how her presence affected her. It was like she was staring right at a star, with a waterfall of pink hair, and jewels for eyes. It almost struck fear into her, fear that if she kept staring, she'd lose track of everything and have something terrible happen to her.  
  
"Pearl," Rose called across the cave. "are the three Spinels gems safe?"  
  
"They're all inside mine." Pearl replied, handing her sword to Bismuth with a tired smile. She tapped the glossy white gem embedded into her forehead. "I'll take them out when we have a safe place for them to reform." The graceful Gem made her way over to the other side of the cave to Rose. The two of them were never far apart. It was a bond Bismuth knew they'd had for much longer than she'd known them for.  
  
While there were no words to describe the feeling Bismuth felt back then, there certainly was now. The Pearl hadn't let her go back to the ship until she swore not to tell a single Gem that she had found them. Bismuth had no intention of breaking that promise; she didn't want to know the extent of the Crystal Gems' power, and would rather pretend like she hadn't found them at all. But as she returned to her worksite every day, her mind kept wandering to the underground tunnel just around the corner, where the three Gems that her superiors would pay an immense amount to see captured, were hiding. She went back to the tunnel one night, just to see if they would recognize her, and to see the Gem that had been occupying her mind for weeks. And, sure enough, there she was.  
  
"Any sight of troops, Onyx?" Garnet called to the Gems outside.  
  
"Nothing to see as far as my eyes can see," the Onyx said, stopping her pacing for a second.  
  
Garnet seemed pleased with that. She closed her eyes - all three of them - and laid back against the cavern wall. Garnet was known for her silence, always lost in thought with herself. Bismuth could only assume it was her two counterparts talking to each other, conversing inside of one person alone. What connected those two so deeply, Bismuth had no idea.  
  
For weeks after that night in the tunnel, Bismuth kept coming back to the three Crystal Gems, a rebellion growing inside of her, too. It took a while for her to realize that she no longer wanted to do what she'd been doing for the last hundred years. Perhaps it was time to do something she wanted to do, rather than follow orders blindly and without question. As she spent more time alongside Rose, that stunned fear she'd first had turned into a warmth whenever she was around. What she felt around Rose was different than what she'd felt for any of her friends before.  
  
On the day that Pearl rushed back to the camp with news that someone had tracked them, Bismuth knew she had to make a decision. She'd been going back and forth between her ship and the Crystal Gems' camp, but if they relocated, she wouldn't be able to do that anymore. She had to pick a side. It was the first decision she ever made on her own, and it certainly wasn't easy. Nervous and afraid, she asked Rose what to do.  
  
Rose stared right into Bismuth's eyes with her own. "What do you want to do?" she asked. And the answer came clearly to Bismuth. "I want to go wherever you go." And in that moment, she knew she was a Crystal Gem, rebelling against the Diamond Authority for protection of the Earth, with their leader, Rose Quartz beside her.  
  
Bismuth smiled remembering that day. Her hope in the rebellion had doubled since then, and she felt real purpose going up against the system she'd lived with for so long. It was thrilling, and Bismuth loved thrills. Though some days it was scary to not know what might come next, Bismuth knew it was all part of the adventure she'd signed up for when she ran from the build site with them. She took it seriously as ever, no doubt, but the last year alone had been much more amazing than the past century she'd spent as a builder.  
  
Rose sat with Pearl on her knee across the cavern, still as stunning as the first day Bismuth saw her. Her and Rose had become bonded over the months, spending time together on missions, during relocations, and just while taking a moment to relax together. She'd learned so much about Rose - she loved jokes, dancing, and hated to be out in the Earth's cold, just to name a few. That feeling she had for her, that warmth, it had a few names now. Devotion, happiness, comfort, strength....all these things came to mind about Rose Quartz. But none of them felt exactly right. She was afraid to ask Rose what it might be, in case Rose thought she was being ridiculous. It was another decision she had to make on her own. None of them were used to being in charge of themselves, and they all knew it. It was what made a lot of their relationships fall apart, and could even compromise them in battle or on missions.  
  
To have access to all these thoughts and emotions that their old superiors frowned upon was strange. Pearl was the strangest product of this, especially since she had been freed only a few years ago. The Gem was defiant and scary, something no one expected of a Pearl. She could destroy troops in seconds, and lead them into battle without fear. She made all her decisions on her own, without asking for permission to speak or move around. That was the whole point of rebellion; you defy what everyone expects of you. Bismuth respected her both as a leader and a best friend, and hoped to one day be as forward with her emotions as Pearl was.  
  
A few hours passed in darkness and silence, the only light coming from the moon and stars in the sky. When two hours had gone by, Onyx and Rhodonite came inside to switch shifts with Garnet and Pearl. Bismuth chatted with Snowflake and toyed with the swords lined on the wall. Everyone else was exhausted, and didn't say much at all. Rose kept glancing outside at the sky, her face sour and concerned. This worried Bismuth. The Quartz Gem had been under awful stress for the past few days, and the added concern of having to relocate was sure to be bothering her. After a few minutes, she stood up. "I'm going outside. I'll be back soon, but I should be fine alone."  
  
"You sure?" Bismuth asked. "You're not going too far off, right?"  
  
Rose shook her head. "I just need to be with myself for a while. Onyx and Rhodonite didn't spot any of Homeworld's soldiers nearby, so I'll be alright."  
  
"Okay." As Rose left the cave, Bismuth could hear her talking with Pearl, though the topic of conversation was too muffled to be heard. She went back to talking to Snowflake, but she felt uneasy. Something was wrong, she knew it. Rose usually cheered herself up by being with her friends, not by walking off into a valley alone and unarmed. It didn't feel right. After minutes of sitting in worry, Bismuth stood up to go outside, too. She slipped outside of the cave, nodding to Garnet as she went past her. "Did you see where Rose went?" she asked.  
  
Garnet shook her head. "She'll be safe, you know. I can tell she's upset by something, and she just needs some time alone."  
  
"I can tell that, too. I just wanna make sure she's alright." Bismuth said. Garnet nodded as a reply. She knew how much Bismuth cared about Rose - though whether she knew the extent of it was unclear - and she saw no reason to stop her. Bismuth started to walk into the valley, the light of space making sure she didn't lose her way. Rose's stress was understandable - Bismuth just wanted to make sure her friend didn't have anything bigger on her mind.  
  
After a few minutes of walking, Bismuth saw Rose's familiar pink hair in the distance. She was sitting in the grass, knees tucked up to her chest. The air was obviously cold, and although it couldn't bother Rose directly, Bismuth knew how much she hated it. All the more reasons to assume something was wrong, she thought as she approached the Quartz Gem.  
  
"Rose." Bismuth said, sitting down next to her friend. "I...uh, came to see how you were doing."  
  
"Thank you, Bismuth." Rose said, not taking her eyes off of the moon to speak to her. "That's kind of you."  
  
"Well, I know it's not like you to walk off when something bothers you," Bismuth said back. "You usually sit with Pearl for a bit, or get a hug from me."  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't feel like bothering you."  
  
"You know you never bother me." Bismuth said. Rose didn't say anything back. The two Gems simply stared out at the stars. The brightest one on the left was Homeworld. What was a million miles away could still be seen from the surface of Earth bright as day.  
  
"This is the third time we've had to move this month," Rose said finally. "All three of the Spinels haven't reformed since our last battle. And that Jasper squadron that came after us last month could've crushed us if they found us. It scares me."  
  
"We've been through worse." Bismuth replied. "Remember the fight at the Sky Arena? Where that Quartz almost got Garnet and Pearl before we saved them? We were on the run for weeks after that."  
  
Rose shook her head. "That was when there were only four of us. Now there's more. And with word spreading through the galaxy, we'll only grow."  
  
"I thought that was a good thing."  
  
"It is. But it means more lives on my hands. This is obviously dangerous, but the more Gems that join us, the more concerned the Diamonds will be. They'll send more troops, and we'll have more fights, and eventually someone will be shattered," Rose said quietly. "I want to delay that for as long as I can."  
  
Bismuth didn't reply for a minute. Rose was right. The bigger this rebellion got, the riskier it would get. Not everyone would be as lucky as the three Spinels. Someone would be shattered. Many would be shattered. To deal with that.... "But it isn't your fault," she said. "We all knew the risk, and we joined anyway. We wanted to be part of something better than what Homeworld would have us do. If one of us gets shattered, there's no way it's your fault."  
  
"I don't want to lose anyone," Rose said. "I've grown so close to some of us. To have to see them die, that's....."  
  
"Terrible." Bismuth finished for her. "I wouldn't wanna see you die, either. You're too important to lose. To me, at least."  
  
Bismuth swore she saw a smile on Rose's face when she said that. "I don't think I can think about this for much longer."  
  
"Me neither." Bismuth said. Both Gems sat in silence for a while. The moon was only half-full tonight. Bismuth stared at it, thinking hard. Rose didn't deserve to blame herself for danger. It was the price of rebellion. Bad things would happen, but it didn't mean Rose was bad for letting them happen. They'd all seen what Homeworld could do, how ruthless they could be. That wrath wasn't Rose's fault. She was doing her best, building a movement on peace and love. She was amazing. And Bismuth couldn't stand to see someone so amazing suffer like this.  
  
"You know how to dance, right?" she asked Rose.  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's been a long day. You shouldn't be worrying about something that's not your fault. You're too good for that." Bismuth stood from the ground, and held her hand out to Rose. "I want you to feel good."  
  
Rose laughed lightly. "I think I know, yes. You wouldn't have any tips for me, would you?" She took Bismuth's outstretched hand, and stood up. She was only a little taller than Bismuth, height of her hair included, but Bismuth could still see her eyes. They were clouded, and she wondered if she had been on the verge of crying.  
  
"Now you're just joking with me," Bismuth smiled. "You're the best dancer I've seen on this planet!"  
  
Rose laughed again, and took Bismuth hands. She started to sway softly, and moved Bismuth's arms with her. Bismuth followed her movements. They'd never danced together before. It was sending butterflies through Bismuth's stomach, seeing how amazing Rose looked in the moonlight. She wasn't scared. She felt warm, and happy. She wanted Rose to feel that way too. Bismuth moved her feet to an invisible waltz, and went to spin Rose in a circle. Rose laughed, and Bismuth swore it was the best sound she'd ever heard in her life.  
  
They kept dancing in the starlight, far away from the rest of the Crystal Gems' eyes. Rose put her hands on Bismuth's shoulder and waist, and they moved back and forth across the grass. All the doubts that had been in Rose's mind had faded. Bismuth spun her again, and she laughed like she had nothing else to think about but the dance they were doing together. They spun and swayed and dipped for so long, Bismuth soon began to realize the perfect name for what she felt around Rose. It came to her slowly, as Rose dipped her down, her hands on her waist, smiling like she knew she was the most amazing thing Bismuth had ever seen.  
  
"Love." Bismuth whispered. "It's love."  
  
"What?" Rose stopped dancing suddenly. A cold feeling suddenly struck Bismuth. She hadn't meant to say that aloud.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...." she started to apologize, going to move away from Rose, but Rose's hands were still on her.  
  
"Do you love me?" Rose asked Bismuth.  
  
There was a silence in which Bismuth could hear nothing but her own nerves rushing and pounding. There was no question about it. All that comfort and happiness she'd always felt around Rose....of course it was love. How had she not figured it out sooner? The only hope she could have was that Rose would feel the same, or at least not think she was strange for loving her.  
  
"I think I do." Bismuth answered her. Rose didn't take her hands off her shoulder or waist. She didn't smile, or laugh. Instead, she brought her face closer to hers, and before she knew it, she had kissed Bismuth.  
  
"Did you feel the same about me?" Bismuth asked Rose, the shock going through her lips and cheeks, making her blush.  
  
"I think I did," Rose said. "But I didn't know what it was called before you said it."  
  
Bismuth smiled. She took the chance to go right back to dancing, swaying and spinning with energy, both Gems laughing like they had nothing to worry about in the whole world. Rose kissed Bismuth again, and Bismuth kissed her back. It was amazing, she thought. Nothing was more amazing then this.  
  
"What do you want to do now?" Rose asked, once they were both out of breath.  
  
"I want to go wherever you go," Bismuth said. "Make sure you never have to worry about anything ever again."  
  
Bismuth knew that wasn't possible. Rebellions had too much danger involved in them for anything to work out perfectly. But for Rose, she would try.


End file.
